“Wax on, wax off”.  This phrase, for people in my generation tends to promote images of a little Japanese guy giving a kid from New Jersey what he asked for, in a roundabout way.  The movie from which the phrase comes, “The Karate Kid”, which I managed to catch on TV over the weekend, and growing up was one of my favorites.  Watching it again as an adult, and a parent, I realized one thing, he played an effective role as a father figure for Daniel Larusso.  Maybe I recognized this now, because I get to experience first hand, a child’s refusal to learn by conventional means.

It’s written in the Bible that “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child;The rod of discipline will remove it far from him.” (Prov 22:15)  The thing is, I remember being a child, and I remember sometimes doing what I was told NOT to do, just for the sake of passive-aggressive rebellion against authority.  Well, I’m now experiencing similar issues with Kailani.  I understand she’s at that age now where she’s trying to find her own identity, and I want to allow her to do this (within reason).  I also want to be a part of that self-discovery, answering questions she might have, and providing options instead of answers.  But,  <hank hill voice> I tell you what </hank hill voice>, she’s not making this easy.

She’s got a gravitational attraction toward the spotlight, and will do anything she can to be seen and noticed.  I can’t fault her for that, even though it’s not a trait I displayed.  I mean, I WAS involved in every extra-curricular activity I could get my name on… though for notably different reasons.  She’s mastering the art of emotional manipulation, much to my chagrin.  She’s big on that whole ‘pre-teen angst’ thing, and it really bothers her if someone doesn’t like her.  And, though I share my advice and experiences with her, she seems to just shut her hearing off at selective times.

Add to that, the things I try to add to her.  Like an understanding of the need to know HOW to do her math, instead of just having answers.  The methods that would make situations that are difficult less so.  Experiences that I noted for myself growing up, with the intent of passing that knowledge forward.  She out and out ignores, or makes excuses against.  I mean, it’s called homeWORK, not homeGet-it-over-with.  Sigh.  Obviously, I’m doing something incorrectly, not making the connection somewhere.  So, maybe I need to take a step back, and find a way to pull a ‘Miyagi-san’, teach her what she needs to learn by teaching her something else.  Just because i don’t see the payoff now… doesn’t mean the 21 year-old she’ll be won’t appreciate it.