futuREFLECTION

And I’m supposed to listen to you ‘WHY?’

metaphyzxx — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 13:00:31 +0000

One would figure that, since I’m supposedly part of his target audience; young, urban, middle-classed, and somewhat disenfranchised; that I’d find some semblance of appeal in Barack Obama. Yet, as I’m sure you can tell by the tone of the previous statement, I find him less than enchanting. Maybe I’m one of those rare people that considers what he actually SAYS, and realize it’s like eating Drano crystals, effective but it leaves you hollow inside.

Now, I’ll be honest with you. I’m all about change in the government. The way the country is actually running is VASTLY different than the way it looks on paper. The US Constitution really isn’t that hard of a read, and there are supposedly some things that one branch can do that the others can’t. At least, that’s the way it’s supposed to work. Yet, we’ve got the President sending troops into harm’s way, though only Congress can declare war. We’ve got Judges dictating legal policy, which again is a power granted to Congress. And Congress, supposedly a group of elected representatives, just do whatever they damned well feel, without the consideration of their constituency. I mean RTFM, right?

But back to Obama, he seems to be a prime practitioner of what I remember from the book 1984 called ‘doublespeak’. He eloquently, and very verbosely says ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Couple that with the fact that the things he DOES say don’t actually encompass all of the things unsaid, and then we’ve got what I perceive as a candidate counting on the stupidity of America’s voting populace. I mean, all this stuff he’s saying he wants to implement, where’s the money supposed to come from? Last I checked, the government doesn’t earn it’s own money, it takes it from taxes. If we’re over budget BEFORE he’d start all of his new programs, then he’s going to need new funding to get the cashflow necessary. Secondly is the method of money acqusition. Who is he going to tax? Obviously people that he feels can ‘afford’ to have a little more shaved off the top. Still, last I checked, it’s the average citizen’s dream to acquire wealth by some means or another. Apparently, the only people that would be safe from wealth acquisition would be those that do so illegally, since it’s not going to be reported. Raise corporate taxes? Then what’s to stop the companys from leaving this country for another one that has more favorable taxation laws. I mean, last I checked, the average business is in the business of turning a profit. If profit in general becomes a bad thing here, then you just go somewhere where it’s not bad.

I’ve got a bunch of other issues in mind as well, but in the end it all comes down to not really being into the concept of a totalitarian government. The Constitution specifically states that all powers not directly granted to the federal government by that document are inherantly granted to the individual states. The central government is supposed to set the stage moreso than the policy, but maybe he doesn’t recognize or understand that. I’m not the biggest fan of the other guy either, but at least it looks like the messes he’s likely to cause would be easier to fix after the storm.

Meta-Phoenix

metaphyzxx — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 21:16:25 +0000

Imagine my surprise to find myself suddenly single again. I mean, I thought I was rising from the ashes before, but to one day be suddenly ejected from my family… my head is still spinning. I’m going to spare the gory details at present, as those who need to know what’s going on already know what’s going on.

I suppose the biggest aspect of this change is the fact that I’m not there with my kids, able to see them and their daily changes at the moment. In the interim, my son has sprouted 2 teeth, including one on the bottom right that’s coming in a little less than straight. I guess that’s what he gets for gnawing on everything. Oh, and he’s mobile now. So it was bad enough before when he discovered he could get places by rolling, now he’s found a faster method of locomotion.

I’ve lost things before in my past, only to take whatever lessons could be gleaned from those situations and move on. I guess that’s what I’m obligated to do again here. Thus, I again get to experience the lesson “That which does not kill me makes me stronger.”

Projection of Personal Perspective

metaphyzxx — Wed, 21 May 2008 19:39:52 +0000

One thing I’ve learned over my relatively short life thus far, is that people tend to expect people to view life through the same eyes that they do. Generally, a dishonest person feels justified in their dishonesty because they figure everyone else is just as dishonest as they are. A liar figures that they’re being lied to. A trustworthy person generally trusts other people. At some point or another, most people eventually realize that this is not the case, and then tend to gravitate toward other people that think as they do… Look at San Francisco.

One of the reasons I’m afraid of Barack Obama as President is his overwhelming need to talk and negotiate with other, often hostile, foreign leaders. Even without knowing what his pre-political profession was, I could tell he’s a lawyer, primarily because that’s the thought process of a lawyer. He somehow believes that he could talk hostile countries out of their hostility, most likely because he could be talked out of his own opinions with a sufficient argument. How do I know this. It’s a system that I employ with my own children. If you believe you should be able to do something that I say you shouldn’t convince me otherwise. I’ll consider it and I’ll likely acquiesce, provided that the argument was reasonable and well thought out.

This is NOT an attitude that should be possesed by a PoTUS. He should have vision, and operate under that vision. He should be looking after the interests of the citizens of his country, not trying to appease world opinion. He shouldn’t be trying to win friends by humiliating his people. He shouldn’t trade respect for pals.

Do the Right Thang

metaphyzxx — Wed, 14 May 2008 19:13:23 +0000

One of the hardest lessons that life has taught me is the fact that it’s usually easier to do something convenient than it is to do what should be done. I mean, speaking generally, it’s a lot easier for me to put a dirty plate in the sink than it is to rinse it off and put it in the dishwasher… especially since it’s also easier to wait for someone else to empty the diswasher than it is for me to do it myself.

Life tends to throw obvious instances of this fact in your face. For example, there’s trash on the ground right around the wastebasket, but you didn’t put it there. What do you do? Most of us would walk right past it… unless we’re in Iraq, at which point we call in the Bomb Squad. Someone left their lights on in the parking lot. I COULD go tell someone in the store, or I could say to myself “I hope they have cables”.

But what about when it actually costs you something to “do the right thing”. I’m only going to be a minute, should I put money in the parking meter?

Give up the Butt (smoking cessation)

metaphyzxx — Wed, 14 May 2008 18:32:42 +0000

This is more of an entry to my future self more than anything else. The mind has a way of editing the past so that it doesn’t seem as bad as it was. Sort of in the fashion that an oyster makes a pearl out of a grain of sand. In this case, I’m referring to the fact that the number of times I’ve quit smoking is probably higher than the number of report cards I’ve gotten during my entire scholastic career.

Look, quitting is hard, made even moreso by the fact that I’m LIVING with someone that smokes, smokes FREQUENTLY, and has no real desire to smoke LESS. It takes a lot of discipline, and analysis of the reasons for smoking. So far, hunger, exhaustion, and boredom seem to rank at the top of the list, and each time I DID manage to quit, I do recall addressing one of the requisite issues. Fact is, I plan on having quit again before the month closes out. If it’s anything like the LAST 3 times I tried to quit, it’s going to be another challenging series of me talking to myself, and myself trying to talk back.

Look, if you happen to pull this off again, make sure you read this before you get the urge to smoke “just one, because one won’t hurt”. Don’t do it. I repeat “DO NOT DO IT”. Sure, one won’t hurt. But it won’t just be one. It’ll be one now, and then it’ll be “Well, that wasn’t so bad”, and next thing you know, you’re down $25 a week. You’re about to SUFFER for this, don’t make it all in vain…. again!

Momma’s Boy

metaphyzxx — Mon, 12 May 2008 19:55:08 +0000

I’ve heard it said that each child is different, and you should never expect your children to act like one another growing up. Xi’an sure enough proves that true, as he’s so much different than Elana was at this stage. I’ve NEVER seen a kid so irritable before in my life. I love having a son, but I figured I’d have a few years before he became so combative. With Elana, and even Kailani to some degree, I get a manner of deference. They treat me as if what I say is something that should be listened to. Not so much with Xi’an. Now, granted, he’s only 5 months old, and that’s going to be the major factor involved, but you’d think that he’d be a little less grumpy around me. He see’s or hears Trish, and he lights up like a Christmas tree. He sees Grandma or Grandpa, and he’s at least calm. With dad though.. I get a “Who the f*(^ is you?” look and a ’stranger’ cry. It’ll be interesting to see how he changes as time rolls forward. For now, he’s mom’s problem.

Teaching Technique

metaphyzxx — Tue, 06 May 2008 14:59:30 +0000

“Wax on, wax off”. This phrase, for people in my generation tends to promote images of a little Japanese guy giving a kid from New Jersey what he asked for, in a roundabout way. The movie from which the phrase comes, “The Karate Kid”, which I managed to catch on TV over the weekend, and growing up was one of my favorites. Watching it again as an adult, and a parent, I realized one thing, he played an effective role as a father figure for Daniel Larusso. Maybe I recognized this now, because I get to experience first hand, a child’s refusal to learn by conventional means.

It’s written in the Bible that “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child;The rod of discipline will remove it far from him.” (Prov 22:15) The thing is, I remember being a child, and I remember sometimes doing what I was told NOT to do, just for the sake of passive-aggressive rebellion against authority. Well, I’m now experiencing similar issues with Kailani. I understand she’s at that age now where she’s trying to find her own identity, and I want to allow her to do this (within reason). I also want to be a part of that self-discovery, answering questions she might have, and providing options instead of answers. But, I tell you what , she’s not making this easy.

She’s got a gravitational attraction toward the spotlight, and will do anything she can to be seen and noticed. I can’t fault her for that, even though it’s not a trait I displayed. I mean, I WAS involved in every extra-curricular activity I could get my name on… though for notably different reasons. She’s mastering the art of emotional manipulation, much to my chagrin. She’s big on that whole ‘pre-teen angst’ thing, and it really bothers her if someone doesn’t like her. And, though I share my advice and experiences with her, she seems to just shut her hearing off at selective times.

Add to that, the things I try to add to her. Like an understanding of the need to know HOW to do her math, instead of just having answers. The methods that would make situations that are difficult less so. Experiences that I noted for myself growing up, with the intent of passing that knowledge forward. She out and out ignores, or makes excuses against. I mean, it’s called homeWORK, not homeGet-it-over-with. Sigh. Obviously, I’m doing something incorrectly, not making the connection somewhere. So, maybe I need to take a step back, and find a way to pull a ‘Miyagi-san’, teach her what she needs to learn by teaching her something else. Just because i don’t see the payoff now… doesn’t mean the 21 year-old she’ll be won’t appreciate it.

Paraclete

metaphyzxx — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 13:34:36 +0000

There’s this cat that I work with, Ant, who is a relatively young Christian. He’s got trials and questions, the occasional misunderstanding and slip-up, but he’s real about his walk. I’ve got to say, this dude is indespensible to me in my own walk with God.

It’s really easy to get discouraged when the community of brothers doesn’t provide what should be an essential service in the Body of Christ, discipling. I mean, that’s what we were originally called to by Jesus himself. Instead, we spend a lot of effort creating ‘Church Members’, getting people involved in programs, doing all kinds of other stuff, but NOT doing the primary thing to which we were called… training up others. I once prayed to God, “Let me be for someone else, that which I couldn’t find for myself.” Obviously that means I had to somehow create something from nothing. I had to be a father to my children, without knowing what a father is ’supposed’ to do. I had to learn how to be a strong black man, a role model (in as much as I can at least) to other young black people in the community. I had to be a mentor, counsellor, listening ear. I had to learn to be a faithful man and good husband. All these things without tangible examples. And THEN I had to teach someone else those things… someone else who MIGHT not be able to pick up these traits on their own and would otherwise get lost in the shuffle.

Ant is one of those people. As a young christian, he’s seeking truth. That’s how I got to where I am, by seeking. Now I see someone following the path that I was once on, and I’m doing what I can to see to it that he doesn’t have to struggle where I struggled. That way he gains wisdom from my hardships, and can then work on his own path, instead of retreading the wheel, making the same mistakes over and over again. As has been written, “What is, has been already; and what will be has been before” (ecc 3:15)

Mission Statement

metaphyzxx — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 18:35:12 +0000

This site has existed in many forms and incarnations over the last 6 years, with various different purposes. Somewhere along the line, I allowed myself to start editing myself before allowing what I wrote to be published. Most likely it was to curb what specific other people were able to read about themselves on my site. I suppose that was the beginning of the end, because at that point, the substance of my writing began to be more… scripted. Well, this entry marks a change in all of that. Again, the primary purpose of THIS site will be to keep the creative juices flowing, to allow myself the joy of writing, and maybe someday write something worth reading. Maybe I’ll get back to the point of writing to my future self, telling him what I’m expecting of him in time. Maybe it really will live up to it’s name and become a “FutuREFLECTION”